For those that know me, they know that I really do not know how to summarize my opinions or stories. I am that girl who is the story teller. One of my Instagram followers told me that she enjoyed the first lessons and musings and urged me to do more of those. I must admit, I was incredibly nervous about publishing an emotionally naked post, but it felt very much worth it. I indeed felt that taking stock was too summarized and static for me. I will here hence forth do away with TS and take on lessons and musings. Hope you can relate in one way or another :)). Here we go!
On relationships
Over the December holidays, I was having a conversation with my 6 year old niece Malaika about, well, everything. Conversations with kids are usually the best in my opinion. After skimming through everything, I casually asked her , “Malaika, who is your best friend in school?” “Karanja!” She excitedly exclaimed. I then asked what is the best thing about being best friends with him, and she said, because he is fun to play with. I then asked “What is the hardest thing about being best friends with him?” She kept quiet for a while. After some thought, she answered “Sometimes we don’t like the same things. I like butterflies and pink and he loves cars and legos” “But… but… but….” She stammered, with me listening with anticipation. “But, I don’t want another best friend and its ok to like different things” Aha! A gem from a six year old.
I want to be six again!!!! How great would it be if we viewed life with the simplicity of children? Our relationships would be a lot less complicated and we would save ourselves so much stress. Instead of trying to change each other, accept each other as is. In a adult relationship for example, you may be too talkative while your beau is more reserved. Your sibling may enjoy nights in but you like going out more. Instead of forcing your views on them, accept them as is. As we grow older, we are conditioned to force our ways and our views on other people. But really, it is just better to be comfortable and accept that we are all different, and that it is a beautiful thing. Some things about the other person cannot be changed, and should not be changed since it makes them who they are. Changing those things makes them a different person entirely. We cant all be the same person. like the same things and be into the same pass time. You are not the standard of what everyone should be like. Every individual is their own person, and as Malaika said, it is ok to like different things.
On growing old
Am I the only one who feels like 20’s are one huge confusion? I feel like people in their 20’s are expected to have it all together yet we are just starting to figure it all out. To have everything in place by the time you hit 25. To know with absolute certainty where we will be in 5 years. Let me first say, I never ever ever pictured myself where I am now in 2011. But I would not change it :). Can I with absolute accuracy say where I will be five years from now? No. All I know is it will be fabulous. Lets stop it with that question.
20’s are a fun adventure, but also the time where the pressures and expectations of real life set in. It is like you are blindfolded and expected to sprint downhill in record time and not get dirty or hurt in the process. This pressure comes from both peers and older people. I just cant! I am still figuring life out. I still am confused about a ton of things. I am still learning new things about myself. I am not embarrassed about that even one bit, and I have a feeling many other 20 something year olds feel me on this. I do not know where I will be in five years (yes, I said it), all I know is, it will be beyond my wildest dreams. I am still growing and looking forward to the years I will be in-tune with life.
I have been observing people, specifically women in their 30’s and I envy the peace they have. They have total order in their lives. They have completely separated themselves from societal standards. They have made peace with themselves. They have made peace with who they are and are beginning to really reap the fruits of their hard work. I love the energy I have now at 24. I love that I can take huge risks without much to loose at this point in time. But I cannot wait to reach the age where I will make peace with who I am, where I am, what is to come and what I have. Growing old is indeed a blessing. Sure, you loose many great things you have while young, but you gain other awesome things you never had in return. Do you guys share the same sentiments? Is anyone over 30 reading this and agrees?
On cooking
I always encourage you guys, my beloved readers, to try out new things. I am even happier when you add your own take to my own recipes. However when you are not sure about what to add or substitute an ingredient with, please ask me. I will ALWAYS reply! Some people successfully switch ingredients with no help which is awesome. But others cannot its ok. Just ask for help. Or if you are scared of asking me (which I know you are not <3) you can approach other food bloggers for help, hautanyimwa! You cannot substitute fish with beef, and complain that your beef does not taste like fish as I wrote in the post. But alas! Fish and beef are totally different meats, so the result will be totally different. Do not add spices blindly, then go on twitter saying my blog is a huge hoax yet you never followed not even one instruction. Be adveturous as you please, but if you need help, reach me on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram.
On Comparison
I tend to believe all people struggle with comparison. We all do. This robs us of inner peace and happiness. I think it is just a human inclination to always want more; more money, more success, more popularity, more love, more smartness. More. While wanting to become better is a positive thing, comparing yourself to another person and putting yourself down for it is a whole different thing. In a world where it is predefined what perfect success/beauty/joy/smartness/relationship should look like, it is increasingly difficult not to compare yourself to those we perceive to be better than us or have ‘it’. The irony is, you may not be satisfied with your life/work/relationship, but to someone else, your life is THE dream!
But here is what I came to realize: the success of one person doesn’t not mean absence of your own. If you look closely, there are pretty awesome things you have achieved and currently have going on too. You may be so fixated on the success of someone else that you forget to celebrate the fantastic things you have achieved or have. This kind of comparison makes you loose sight of your goals and with time you loose your individuality while trying to become like someone else. Stop the comparison. The beauty of one person does not mean absence of your own. Beauty does not exist in one form, to hell with what society wants you to believe. Stop the comparison. The seemingly perfect, shiny, forehead-pecking, matchy-matchy, wanderlusting, instagram-advertised relationship has its own share of struggles just as your own; just as any other. Of course no one would want to put pictures of the times they are fighting but only the nice ones. The happy pictures. Social media is a show, and almost all the time, only one side of the coin is shown. Do not put yourself down or devalue your relationship based on the ‘relationship goals’ all over the internet. Stop the comparison. That man who has it all together- the financial success, the status, the cute wife and even cuter kids is in a very different space from you. You do not know what he overcame to get there. Focus on building yourself and stop the comparison. Someone else’s talent/smarts does not mean absence of your own. They could as well be admiring something in you that you do not appreciate. You could be admiring their book smarts but they could be admiring your creative prowess. Stop the comparison.
You have all you need. You are enough!
On happiness
Trying to connect with my inner child and simply derive happiness from the simple things we often overlook in our busy lives as adults. Each day I actually switch off from adulting and take 20 minutes watching the sunset. Literally, watching the sun set. I love sunset and this has become my most cherished time of day. February sunsets are just magic, don’t you think? I am laughing out loud more, laughing at myself and being silly without feeling silly. I am deliberately taking time to feel, to really feel; to really see; to really hear. I belt out lyrics to my favorite songs with absolute abandon and really feel the beauty of the lyrics (I cant sing by the way, but its a free world :D), and sometimes break into dance. The ticklish feeling of morning dew on my toes makes me happy. Pin drop silence, which allows me to hear myself, makes me so happy. The sound of children playing outside makes me happy. As corny as this may sound, it is the small simple things that make us happy. And I am chasing then with absolute relentlessness.
What lessons have you learnt over the past few months? It could be anything! Let’s share comment section below
xx
-Kaluhi
Hey there! My name is Kaluhi and I love food! Through my blog, I am happy to share with you my self-taught recipes, steeped in nostalgia and the happiest of memories. I hope each recipe you try out is as addictive as the previous one and is shared on a table full of love and hearty laughs!
This is the first time I’m reading your blog & I love this post so much Because of how raw it is . ????
So happy to know you like this. I get so nervous getting emotionally vulnerable, but I am only human and these things need to be expressed :). I will be doing more of this. Karibu sana to the #KK family <3
Loved this! More! More! More!
http://whisperywind.com/
And more shall be coming your way Wamuyu! So glad you liked this <3 <3 <3
“the success of one person doesn’t not mean absence of your own.”
Love this. And I love this series.
<3
<3 <3
I personally remind myself that all the time. Still working on the comparison stuff, it is always a work in progress.
Your blog, Kaluhi, is very beautiful!!! Two things:
1. I especially love this post. Been doing the Taking Stock version and it really didn’t feel, what is the word, satisfying/content. So to read this on lessons and musings was like a light bulb moment for me!! Thanks for the inspiration 🙂
2. Your recipes are easy to follow, and the photography is but amazing!!
If it interests you, you can check out my TS series on here 🙂
https://ppdisland.wordpress.com/?s=taking+stock
(My blog chronicles my motherhood journey, challenges of postpartum depression and everything in between)
Thank you so so sooooooo much. I put my whole heart in this so hearing that makes every bead of sweat worth it <3 I was looking at my 2014 posts and I must agree, my photography has come a long way. I hope to get even better and give you even more bomb recipes. So help me God!
TS is so summarized. I found myself almost forced to truncate my thoughts but I like going hard with words and stories. It was time to let go. It may work for other bloggers, but personally, it never really felt my own. I have reviewed your blog (and book marked it :)) and it is so insightful. One day when I become a mother I will relate with most of what I have read even more.
Plus, I feel the Kenyan community, or the world at large does not talk about PPD as much as we should... But as more women are talking about it and bringing it to light, it will get the attention it deserves
I am glad your blog inspires me to get my act together (on days like this when I want to catch up on Suits LOL). Thanks for reading too 🙂 Hopefully I get to do more than just the blog as a platform to raise awareness on PPD.
We have to keep at it even if we do not feel like working on anything. That is the only way we will ever be able to realize our dreams. I think I am the only person who has not watched suits, I will get season one tomorrow; I am slacking behind 😀
Alafu, the lessons on cooking and twitter rants about hoax recipes, I totally agree man!! it is like adding thyme to tea and complaining it does not taste like cinnamon, like c’mon!! bahaha, I saw that on the interwebs K. onwards!!
Or like adding black pepper to cake mix and complaining it does not taste like vanilla essence 😀 😀 😀 😀 Human beings are so funny sometimes! Anyway, onwards and upwards
I totally agree with you on being in your thirties and having inner peace! I find that I am TOTALLY unfazed by what others think about me. Trends are no longer a-must-follow and its oh-so-liberating! The only thing that matters is that if it feels right, I will do it:-)
ION, I have been your silent fan for forever! thanks for whipping up so many fabulous dishes and making my kitchen moments memorable! God bless you!
I am totally looking forward to growing up! I still dont consider myself a grown up LOL! I want to really grow into my own and fall inlove with the process and feeling. As I wait, let me enjoy the 6 years I have remaining in my 20’s
I am more than happy to have added value to your kitchen life. I pray for more creativity so that I can add more to your life, AMEN.
I love you… Thats all girl!
Sending love right back :)))
this feb sunsets have been a sight to behold…gettin a hang of it.
They truly are the best!
” The success of one person does not mean absence of your own.”
“The beauty of one person does not mean absence of your own.”
“Someone else’s talent/smarts does not mean absence of your own. They could as well be admiring something in you that you do not appreciate. You could be admiring their book smarts but they could be admiring your creative prowess.”
I wanna frame those three points and put them up on the walls of my home (when I have one), and when I do, I’ll be sure to reference you. Simply put but it truly speaks volumes! I can totally understand how you feel about Taking Stock and how it feels so limiting. It works for some, different strokes. Both reflective posts but TS is more of a quick and fun snapshot version whereas L&M (haha, yes, I just nicknamed it with no shame) is more expressive with more in-depth content. I personally love that you’ve chosen to stick with Lessons and Musings. Keep em comin’! 🙂
Oh if you wanna check out my blog: http://www.domain26.com. No pressure of course, it’s actually quite random and obviously completely different from yours as I’m sure you know by now I’m not as enthusiastic about the kitchen as you are 🙂 (I am, however, extremely enthusiastic about food! LOL!)
xx
I think I should also frame these just as reminders and start taking my own advice. Overcoming comparison is a daily choice and a daily struggle. I remind myself this all the time, ofcourse sometimes I fail and go into full blown comparison when I really shouldnt. I, like everyone else, should keep working on ourselves.
As for taking stock, to each their own. If it works for you, keep at it. But for someone as wordy as myself I found it so hard to summarize my thoughts. I shall stick with L&M, so glad you have enjoyed the read <3
Your blog is pretty cool I must say. I love the feel. May it grow and prosper and may we all win in our different crafts.
xx
Thank you and Amen! We’ll get passed these struggles eventually 🙂
x
I thought I was the only one who noticed the women above 30 are so comfortable with themselves. Like they finally found themselves. Look at Kim.K, look at Beyonce, look at everyone else in their 30’s. they are settling into themselves. but you are right, in our 20’s we can still live happily even though we are confused about too much LOL. And take a ton of risks too without much to lose.
So true indeed!
Confusion galore! 😀 😀 😀 But truly, we all act like we have it together. As I wait for the big 3-0, I have decided to just take a day at a time, enjoy, laugh at the confusion and learn as I go along. Either way, we will all be alright :))
beautiful words is all i can say. cheers to learning and sharing great words 🙂
I am so glad you enjoyed this post. I shall work on putting out more of these.
Be blessed.
xx
I love this!! Kwanza the comparison bit and pressure from Everywhere . I love that I can relate to this, Awesome post my Enemy. You are slowly replacing hate with love????????
As in pressure from all centers! 🙁 🙁 🙁 But we shall overcome. Mara comparison tena haki! Life is one tricky jungle I tell you. But we shall overcome, my best enemy! We shall overcome. And we have always loved each other deep down my foe 😀 😀 😀 😀
I was looking for your meatballs’ recipe and stumbled upon this, I hope am not too late. I turned 20 late last year and I can honestly say the worst mistake I ever made is growing up *sighs*????. Trying have my act together: school, job, hobby, relationship and it’s not just working for me. Malaika’s wisdom is priceless “it is OK to like different things”.
I am different, I just discovered that however much I try am never gonna like wine, my introverted nature can’t allow me to enjoy night outs or clubbing and i cannot mix my food, but my best friends are crazy booze guzzlers who are crazy extroverts and would eat anything edible but I love them to infinity. This post got me singing “this little light of mine????” which is funny cause I can’t sing too..
XoXo
Let me tell you, I am also not a clubbing kind of girl. In my late teens and early 20’s I got dissed for that ALOT! I felt there was something wrong with me for not liking the lets-get-drunk-and-party-till-8-am kind of life. But I realized it was just who I am, and nothing was going to change that. I accepted that there is nothing wrong with liking being home watching a movie on a Friday night or preferring an actual dinner date over a clubbing date. As Malaika said we all like different things and thats ok!
At 24, I am also still getting my act together. We will figure it out LOL!